Differences between the UK and NZ

In the UK, your weekly pummeling-politicians programme is Question Time, hosted by the dignified David Dimbleby, with half embarrassed audience members calmly asking MPs and people like Shami Chakrabarti from Liberty questions.

In New Zealand, the equivalent is Back Benchers. This is held in a pub, hosted by a young shouting man that yells things like “people are pissed off at your sense of entitlement” whilst trying to contain the braying, drunken audience who’re continually shouting things out to the panel…who are also drinking.

In the UK, the common bird that we see everywhere is the grey, annoying, parasite-ridden, occasionally aggressive pigeon:

In New Zealand, the common bird you see everywhere is the beautiful, graceful and exotic Pukeko:

In the UK, we have adverts for things like Online Dating.

In New Zealand, we have adverts for things like Cow Feed to enhance their milk output.

In the UK, we are surrounded by CCTV, in a largely prohibitive society, endlessly constricted by health and safety restrictions.

In New Zealand, I have not yet seen a CCTV camera. I see/hear sirens once in a blue moon, people are encouraged to build their own homes, I haven’t seen a single traffic light since I got here and people are just generally more relaxed.

In the UK, our oldest university dates from the 12th Century; “The University of Oxford was the first university to be established in Britain. Dating from the 12th century, it is organised as a federation of colleges that are governed by their own teaching staff, known as ‘fellows’. The oldest college, University College, was founded in 1249. Other notable colleges include All Souls (founded in 1438), Christ Church (founded in 1546 by Cardinal Wolsey) and Lady Margaret Hall (founded in 1878), which was the first women’s college.”

In New Zealand, their oldest university is 136 years old; “The University of Otago, founded in 1869 by an ordinance of the Otago Provincial Council, is New Zealand’s oldest university. The new University was given 100,000 acres of pastoral land as an endowment and authorised to grant degrees in Arts, Medicine, Law and Music.
The University opened in July 1871 with a staff of just three Professors, one to teach Classics and English Language and Literature, another having responsibility for Mathematics and Natural Philosophy, and the third to cover Mental and Moral Philosophy”

In the UK, you go to a cafe (either a character-less chain or a greasy spoon stained with years of fag smoke) and can expect a half-filled, limp, dry, over-priced sandwich for lunch served by a grumpy spotty teenager or depressed 35 year old:

In New Zealand, you go to any of the several independent cafes and can be greeted by a vast array of creative, cheap  and freshly made options, all served promptly by a friendly, smiling person.

In the UK, our great big roads such as the M1 run near our major cities and towns. They’re often congested, but if you squint through the exhaust fumes you can often be greeted by the fields upon fields of rapeseed flashing by.

In New Zealand, the main roads run through gorges and mountains, along the pacific coastline and through sheep-filled valleys. You’re on the road alone more often than amongst other drivers.

To be continued…!